There are many powerful struggles that can distract or destroy men. The most powerful of them all is sexual lust. Why is it such a struggle for men to remain pure and holy if we are made in God’s image?
The core of the struggle has to do with the God-given desires within our hearts, mixed with a self-centered demand for satisfaction, apart from God.
Did God give us sexual desires? The short answer is “yes.” God is the one who invented sex. God invented sex to create a unifying bond between a husband and wife. If practiced in holy union and according to God’s plan, sex between a husband and wife creates an intimate connection that is beautiful and leaves each partner feeling completely fulfilled. If practiced outside of God’s plan, this natural, God-designed, intimate act can leave one or both partners feeling frustrated, empty and alone.
Often a man, will act out in completely self-centered and destructive ways, either physically or through an elaborate and intense fantasy world. Many men turn to pornography as a way to sooth their souls, without realizing how damaging and addictive this behavior can become. In today’s world we demand immediate satisfaction. With the accessibility and pervasiveness of provocative images, the Internet, and increased sexualization of our culture, it is all too easy to simply act upon this self-centered desire. “I will have what I want and I want it now.” The more a man turns to “false intimacy,” or pixels on a screen, the more his partner is deprived of the true intimacy that God intended for her. Over time, men become desensitized and unable to experience the rewards of a God-designed, truly intimate marriage. Frustration grows, tensions rise, and pretty soon you have two people living together who are not connected at the heart. Do you know couples like this? Is your marriage like this?
What can you do if your life has been taken over by lust and sexual desires? The first step is to find someone to share your story with. Keeping this deep, dark secret only adds to the power of the struggle. Find someone you trust and tell them what your struggles are. You might be surprised how many men have the same struggles. Once you bring your struggles into the light, find a small group of men and meet on a regular basis. You will need accountability to win this battle. This is one of the most powerful challenges that you will ever face. You cannot do this alone. Being alone is one of the main reasons men struggle.
Are you addicted to something? The definition of addiction is; the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
If you believe you are addicted, get professional help. There are professionally trained counselors who specialize in this area of addiction. They can help you with a plan and assist you in understanding all of the dynamics of your addiction. If you could have fixed this yourself, you would have already done so.
Controlling lust is one of the most challenging things that a man will ever tackle. As men, we are taught that we can fix anything. This is one thing that most of us will never be able to fix on our own. Left unchecked, sexual addiction is a direct path to destruction, chaos, and self-destruction. Becoming pure in heart, soul, and mind is possible if you seek it with a group of supportive, loving, and accepting Christian brothers. Becoming pure requires confession to the Lord and confession to another brother in Christ. “Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for each other that you may be healed.” James 5:16
Healing starts with confession. Recovery starts with being transparent. Purity is a journey. God is willing, able, and ready to help you fight and win this battle. Are you ready to start?